The Dutch version of this post can be found at http://charlottekamman.nl/loslaten/
Letting go has been one of the hardest things for me to learn.
I am a very relational person, and I have long thought that that was a weakness.
Only recently, I discovered that I am not the only one..
A friend sent me this piece of text:
If as individuals we can embrace the view that
“because of that, this exists,” or, in other words,
“because of that person, I can develop,”
then we need never experience pointless conflicts in human relations.
In the case of a young married woman, for instance, her present existence is in relation to her husband and mother-in-law, regardless of what sort of people they may be. Someone who realizes this can turn everything, both good and bad, into an impetus for personal growth.
And this is exactly how I feel it.
It means, however, that it can be very hard to let go.
For example, if a relationship doesn’t work out the way you dreamed, how do you let go of that?
It is good to know what you want to let go of.
Do you want to let go of the person?
I feel that that is impossible.
I always thought that I was a weakling, that I could not let go of people, but now I understand.
We are connected, and if we have found someone very near, the connection is much stronger, and that connection will not disappear.
The emotional heart connection we have with someone, is not of this time and place. It goes much deeper than that.
We can let go of our ideas about what the relationship should look like, though.
And letting go of that creates freedom, not loneliness.
A technique I love to use is EFT or meridian tapping.
I often look at the photograph of me and my love, and I tap on the emotions that come up. I find myself nowadays often tapping and just sending love and heart energy, and it makes me feel so much better. I didn’t start of like that, though, I really missed him and I was really sad that our relationship wasn’t working out the way I had hoped for.
But now I do see that we have a wonderful relationship, even though we are not “in a relationship” according to the world. I sense our heart connection, and I feel the warmth and the strength that the relationship gives me. I am not sure how it works for him, because even in the closest relationship, you do never know what exactly the other person feels.
I do tap for his highest good though, and for his and my happiness, whatever form it will take.
Now, I used my romantic relationship as an example, but you can easily see how this works with your children, your parents, anyone whom you hold dear.
I’d love to hear from you: What is the hardest to let go of for you?
Please leave me a comment in the commentbox below, that would make me really happy!
Talk soon,
This post is a follow-up on http://www.charlottekamman.com/your-greatest-fear-will-become-true/
